Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Year Best Forgotten

I've had some emails from readers who have been wondering where I've been lately. Friends have asked if I've been ignoring them or just hiding.  The answer to this is yes - and no. 
Quite a lot has been going on since mid August.  Carole's passing - my friend and partner on the Gente Forum and Website really threw me for a loop. Needless to say, I really miss her and our almost daily conversations.  For a while I had just about lost my motivation to continue researching and was ready to pack it in and call it a day -but I finally came around and started to pull my socks up when I received word that another close friend, Cathy, lost her mother suddenly. Thankfully Simona was still here visiting from Italy and it kept me busy.
My parents arrived home from Italy in mid September.  They had a wonderful time with family celebrating.  Unfortunately my father had not been feeling very well and finally in October, gave in and visited a doctor.  A few weeks later he was diagnoised with cancer.  Having had cancer twice already one would think we would be used to it. After all, isn't cancer as common as the common cold these days?  Not quite.  It's still the single most disturbing disease one has to live through and with.  The not knowing of how bad it is, the treatment needed, the severity of the attacker, etc keeps you constantly in a state of anticipation and fear.  It's hard to focus on every day life when in the back of your mind you're always wondering, "What next?" or "Will this be the last holiday we have together?".  What makes it worse this time is that they found the cancer in two areas of his body and up to this point we don't know if they are two separate cancers or if the cancer spread.
The first operation took place a couple of weeks ago where they scraped and removed the tumour from his bladder and although badly damaged, the bladder has been saved.  Last Thursday they took a biopsy of his throat and are waiting for the results.
Mom's is trying to be positive. Always the pillar of strength, she goes about her day as if this is nothing more than a minor inconvenience but anyone who knows her well will notice the slight nervousness in her voice or the marginally higher than normal tone that she speaks with.
Quite frankly, I just want this year to be done with as so far it hasn't ranked too high on my list of favourite years.  Hopefully 2011 will be much better..